The Misconception About Mental Health (And The Big Messy Grey Space.)
Lately, I’ve been noticing that there’s a common misconception when it comes to mental health. It seems that many people believe that if you haven’t been diagnosed with a mental illness—then you must be mentally healthy.
Although this sounds reasonable, it couldn’t be further from the truth.
There’s a big messy grey space between being mentally ill and being mentally healthy—and like a lot of people—I lived in that messy space for most of my life. I didn’t think of myself as being mentally ill (denial and avoidance had something to do with that), so I told myself I must be mentally healthy. Of course, I was kidding myself because I was far from being mentally and emotionally healthy. It just took me many years to realize it. (You can read more on my journey here.)
I suppose it’s a lot like how we look at physical health. Just because we have no diagnosed illnesses or diseases doesn’t mean that we’re physically healthy. We can fool ourselves into thinking that another piece of chocolate or one more glass of wine won’t hurt us. Sure, we could lose a few pounds, exercise more, and get a lot more sleep but at least we’re not sick—right?
The thing is that much like our physical health—our mental health may require a little (or a lot) of work too. You may not be mentally ill, but that doesn’t mean you’re mentally healthy either.
So how can you tell how mentally healthy you are—especially when you may be living smack dab in the middle of the messy grey space?
Sometimes it’s difficult to tell because it means we need to look at ourselves objectively. We all have moments that we’re not proud of. Perhaps we’ve reacted to a situation that we’d go back and change in a heartbeat if we could. Or maybe we’ve lashed out and said something to a loved one we know we shouldn’t have. It’s not these moments that define us. These just prove we’re human and we screw up once in a while. (Unless of course, this has become the norm for you and you’re up to your neck in the murky depths of the messy grey space.)
Being mentally healthy is defined as:
- The absence of mental illness.
- An overall sense of well-being.
- The ability to experience and process a wide range of positive and negative emotions.
- Being able to face and overcome adversity.
To break that down even further it means that:
- We can look at a situation and decide how we’re going to think and feel about it.
- We try not to blame or shame others when problems occur but look for solutions instead.
- We have goals and take action to reach them.
- We know we cannot control anyone but ourselves, so we don’t try.
- We stay connected to the world around us (even when we’re an introvert.)
- We value and foster close relationships (especially when we’re an introvert.)
Learning how to build and strengthen our mental health is extremely important because everything we feel and everything we do is influenced by how we think. It’s our thoughts that enable us to interpret the world around us— it helps forge stronger and healthier relationships.
Thankfully, not everyone will experience mental illness. But we’ll all face adversity at some point in our lives that will test our mental wellbeing. Being mentally healthy means that we can see the problem for what it is and not let it defeat us. We will be able to endure emotional pain without the prolonged suffering.
I want to point out that being mentally healthy isn’t about being positive all the time (which is good because that can get old quickly.) It’s about being the best version of ourselves. This allows us to:
- Face adversity and come out on the other side stronger than we were before.
- Endure emotional pain and not continue to suffer needlessly.
- Not be afraid to feel a negative emotion and know how to question the thought that created it.
- Not be afraid to step out of our comfort zone because we know it’s the only way to grow.
What I have learned in my own journey to becoming mentally healthy boils down to this one thing…
Value mental health above all else because everything else depends on it.
