Don’t let it knock you out of the game.
When life throws you a curve-ball (and you know it will,) it can sometimes feel like everything is caving in on you. It’s easy to let it knock you out of the game.
Life’s challenges can seem insurmountable at times, and it’s easy to get lost in the minutia. Anxiety can take hold very quickly which makes it almost impossible to remember that you are in control.
Yes, you and only you, are in control of your emotional state.
If you live with anxiety, this may seem a little difficult to comprehend. Especially when it feels like anxiety comes out of nowhere and hits you right between the eyes.
I get it.
I’ve been there.
I lived in that anxiety driven state for more years than I care to remember.
I didn’t have Anxiety. Anxiety had me!
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned in managing my own anxiety is that I am very much in control and you can be too. It all starts with the Pause.
Pause. Breathe. Now, look at that curve-ball again.
We’re so used to reacting to situations immediately.
Our pulse is racing.
The gnawing sensation is growing in the pit of our stomach.
Our emotions drive us to respond before we know the whole story.
Learning to pause and knowing you are in control of how you feel and how you react to situations can change everything.
The pause gives you a moment to process what is in front of you
It will help you see things for what they are instead of what they appear to be.
It gives you time to examine the curve-ball with clarity.
The pause can help you look at the situation from the outside looking in, instead of from within your default mindset.
Every situation is different and can result in an array of negative emotions. But you can change the result by pausing and taking the time to examine the thought that’s creating the emotion.
There are times when we’re not consciously aware we’ve been thinking about something until our body sends us a signal to let us know.
It’s like our body rings a doorbell to alert us that we need to pay attention.
The signal may take many forms like the gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach, the increased heartbeat or sweaty palms.
These signals mean that we are already feeling an emotion, but we can still pause as soon as we become aware of it.
We can pause, breathe, and start again.
Pausing can give you the opportunity to choose whether you stay in the negative emotional state or work through it and change it. The reason you feel the negative emotion is because you weren’t conscious of the thought that created it.
Now you are awake (you paused and breathed.)You are aware of the signal (the gnawing feeling in your stomach or other physical sensations.)You have paid attention, and now you get a do-over.
This time you’ll be present and be able to see the situation clearly.
That’s the beauty of the pause. It puts you in the driver’s seat. It gives you control.
Just because you were not fully awake in the beginning doesn’t mean you can’t go back and change how you feel about it now.
Listening and paying attention to your body is vital because those signals are a gift. Yes, they are. Really, they are.
They’re letting you know you need to wake up from your subconscious state and pay full attention.
Unfortunately, no one teaches us this, so we end up ignoring the signals, pushing them away, covering them up or fighting them. Our brain sends out additional signals and the more we ignore them, the worse they get.
They start piling up, and we suffer the consequences.
We end up with anxiety and panic attacks because our body can’t process all these signals that are being sent out.
So what do we do?
We suffer.
We self-medicate.
We hide.
As soon as you become aware of an unwanted emotion, take a moment to pause. Breathe. Look at the situation again. Make sure it’s factual and not based on gossip, assumption, or your inner beliefs.
What do you think about that situation?
Is your thought true or based on your ego?
These questions will help you navigate the situation. The more you practice, the easier it becomes and eventually it will become a habit to pause before reacting.
You’ll feel an emotion and instinctively know how to question the thought that created it.
Remember it is not the situation that creates the emotion — it’s you.
You are your own worst enemy.
But you know that don’t you?
“How many ruined relationships,
Broken friendships,
Screaming fights,
Sleepless nights,
Long silences and tears,
Began with assumptions and fears?”
Part of this article was reproduced and edited from Taming Crazy-Confessions and Lessons: A True Story for the Worried, the Fearful, and the Anxious!
